Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
