So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
