why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
