The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
