just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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