What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
