batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
