worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
