I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
