lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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