She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
