I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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