So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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