I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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