how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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