Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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