when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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