I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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