Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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