I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
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Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
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Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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