I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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