Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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