Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
The ass gains better be worth it
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
