Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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