My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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