just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
