You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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