you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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