I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
