I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
