Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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