you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
not ubering you a puppy
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
