He disabled his match.com account in front of me
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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