i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
