idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize