I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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