maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
