Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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