Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We are all done wearing pants today
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
