do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
