I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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