did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
