i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
