I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
