just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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