At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
