she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
