So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
