Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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