I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
