He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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