you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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