I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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