I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
