Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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