You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
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My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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