my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
