i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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