I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
