Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize