Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
