Where did you get a picture of my penis
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
It's Friday. Sex?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
