New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You pole danced in your parka.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
