Moan for me like Helen Keller
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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