there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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